Hang Onto Her

The teaching continues. Now in my second year of teaching I feel that I owe a lot to one of my mentors. I very much believe in mentorships and advocate to look for someone that you admire and look up to and hold onto their coat tails for life! It took some time for this new and fresh teacher to realize that the goal is NOT to do this all by myself. In fact, the more I try to do on my own, the more my selfish and prideful side tends to peek out. After accepting this about me I started to observe closely how my mentor operated. Instead of pretending I had it all together, I started to closely pick out area I wanted to work on and asked her questions about everything! Even when I lacked confidence, I went to her. She was the type of woman you try to be. She had a lot going for her and was confident in her ability but yet never shyed away from admitting her own weaknesses. I noted that when she shared these with me, she never seemed weak. She stated them as facts, not really disappointments. Once I had confidence in my own ability as a teacher, I could then get down to business. I now come to the table with great ideas and a listening ear for advice. The other thing my mentor taught me was confidence in not only your ability, but your character. There is a lot of advice from other teachers that floats around the school. There are a lot of rumors. There are a lot of unvalidated worries that are spread like a dark cloud. Every time I talked with another teacher and would get worried about an upcoming project or task, I would go to the meeting myself and feel foolish worrying. Most of the time other teacher's worries were so far off there was little need for actual worry. This drove me crazy until I realized that I am in charge of my own character, beliefs, and values. Yes, some advice is great but always remember to CONSIDER it first. Does this follow your own beliefs about teaching? Will this benefit YOUR students? Finally, does this fit with your CHARACTER? If not, smile, and walk on. There is no reason to be inpolite, but you have to follow what you believe. After all, you are you for a reason. I may do things differently, but I also do them to the best of my ability. All these bits of wisdom came to me through my mentor. You aren't supposed to do it on your own. When you find someone like this, hang on to them. They are more valuable than you know at the present time.

Failure

Welcome back! Right? The excitement of another school year and the anxious faces awaiting all the wisdom you have to bring to them. Right? It is the "adventure" of education that takes over as you realize this is the greatest job in the world. Right? I am not certain that this is how I should feel or not but to be honest with you I don't. To be honest, I want to quit. I do. If I denied that, I wouldn't be honest. I do want to quit. I feel very much like I am failing. As a first year teacher, I am told it is normal to feel this way. I am drowning with everything that needs to be done and so many different students' needs to meet. All my ideas and creative solutions seem to have gone out the window. My confidence as a teacher is dwindleing everyday. My organization is getting worse instead of better. Classroom management is a work in progress. I have already missed two friends' invites because I literally forgot about them as I have been working 70+ hours a week. By no means, am I trying to convery that I am a martyr for education. In fact, I feel far from it. It is a normal first year teacher life. The long hours, the feeling of failure, lack of self-confidence, loss of sleep, and lots of PBJ because that's the only thing you have time to fix are all part of this excruciating learning process. In fact, I am told that all of this gets even worse before it gets better. Do I think I will keep failing? Of course! Do I think this is hard? Yes! Do I believe and trust that this is where I need to be? Definetly. That's the only thing I am holding onto right now, my faith. One day I'll get there. As a wise friend once told me, "it's time to submit to the process". The experience of failure, oh it's brutal. It's painful. You begin to see your flaws. You begin to humble yourself. It's messy. However, God always has you right where he wants you. This too is all part of the process.

Listen to Your Leader

I am teaching summer school for the next 6 weeks. As I have been introduced to my 25 kids, I have divided them into teams for the duration have introduce daily challenges for them to complete as a team. This is a struggle for most of my students. They are so much in the mindset that they have to take care of themselves if they are survived. Most children, in fact, are selfish in nature. Working together and putting others first is a learned trait. As a teacher, I teach and so it is time to teach how to work together. Before the day unfolded, I had no idea of the outcome of this particular challenge.

Challenge: There is a long piece of tape on one side of the room and another piece of tape about 5 yards away. This is the "river". To get acrossed the river, the team must walk on "stones" or pieces of construction paper. They have 8 pieces of constuction paper to use as they wish. The rules, someone has to be touching the construction paper at all times! Sounds easy enough?

The kids were excited to get started and they all fully believed that their team would be the first team to get the challenge. It turned out, it wasn't as easy as they first thought. We did the challenge for about two and half hours before one team finally accomplished the task! It was interesting to watch the team that got acrossed. They got it. They had nailed down key compnents to what I think makes a team work.

1. They understood the power of POSITIVE communication to help their team. I heard several comments after the they failed multiple times such as "That's ok, we'll get it the next time." or "Don't worry about it, it wasn't all your fault."

2. They had a leader and the team LISTENED TO THEIR LEADER. At the begining of the summer, each team had to decide on a leader. Honestly, this team had picked a good one. As he was completing the challenge he made sure everyone was behind him and everyone was on task. He never blamed people and none of his team argued with him being to bossy. (Unlike a lot of the other teams) His team followed his lead.

3. The leader knew the talents of his teamates and THEY FOLLOWED THEIR ROLE. This team had each individual doing a particular task that they were good at. There was a girl in the back picking up the pieces of paper. There was another girl who was a good encourager following and helping a special needs child. The leader was in front putting the papers down and looking back on his team. It worked for them.

I know as adults, we have completely mastered these techniques of working together and we don't need reminding. :) It's amazing what kids can teach.

Innovation

Forgive me for not posting earlier. As I continue to work here in D.C. my plate is getting filled. I am developing some very good relationships with some very good people. As many of you know, my school year ended this past week. I am so excited to begin next year! I will be teaching 4th grade next year and will be working with another very excited new 4th grade teacher. Please continue to pray for us as we enter the new school year and meet over the summer to decide on how to best teach these bright eyed new 4th graders. As I look back on my first year of teaching all I can think about is what is next. I am so excited to see what another year here in D.C. will bring. I am constantly being challenged as a teacher to be innovative. The students need innovation and challenge. I feel that I may loose my gift of being a teacher if I am not constantly thinking, creating, and improving my lessons and style of teacher. This summer will be spent researching by the pool. Great things are happening and I am excited to be a part of them!

Expect the unexpected!

A Break Much Needed

Sometimes kids and adults need a break. We need a moment, a moment to just have fun. Kids are kids and as hard as they work they still need to enjoy being kids. In the same way, adults need to enjoy the moments as well. Friday was just that. No fights to break up, no yelling, few tantrums, just pure fun. On Friday we has our Field Day. The kids were able to play all sorts of games and had been looking forward to Field Day for so long. In between ultimate tug of war and sack racing, a teacher and the principal managed to bring out super soakers and the water hose sprayed all the kids on the hot afternoon. Most of the kids enjoyed dunking several teachers in the dunk tank. After a brief lunch we all headed back outside for a competitive kickball game with the teachers. I found out that I am not nearly as athletic as the rest of my co-workers. By the end of the day we were all hot, wet. and happy. I really felt that most of the kids were just being kids. With everything that has happened this year, I felt they needed a day like this. They needed to be kids and run around and have fun. We didn't have anyone get in trouble that day and at carpool, kids were falling asleep sitting in their positions. I smiled and loved the site of happy kids.

Final Days

We have made it into our final countdown. The days are numbered and the year is coming to a close. Here in D.C. we still have 3 whole weeks left. As teachers we get so busy that it can be difficult to remember how the students came to you and how much they have grown. Ready or not, I think are 4th graders are turning into 5th graders. So much is happening all at once and none of it I can control. For some reason this time around, I do not have much to say so I am throwing it back out to my readers. Tell me what you think of my year. Advice for next year? Take care everyone.

Time is Slipping Away

It was an average day. I did not expect anything spectacular to happen on this day as I waited in line at Starbucks for my coffee. I drove to work with my radio murmur and heading into the school building. I was actually tired and was just trying to make it to the weekend. The kids were stressed and tired from testing. Fights were happening more and more on the playground and I found myself complaining more about my job than being thankful. Then in one moment my perspective changed. I walked into a conference where I was told that one of my girls that I had been working so hard with would not be returning for the rest of the year. In fact, she would only be here one more day. I was filled with heartache. This girl had made so much progress. She was on the track team and making friends. She had come such a long way. She was even doing better in her school work and now they were taking her away. I was a little angry and then it just turned to sadness. It was a reminder to me that I don't have much time with these kids. Although the days seem long, the year goes by so fast. I need to be making every moment that those kids are with me count. I need to be doing the best job that I can so when the day finally comes for the kids to leave, I have given them everything they need to be successful in the next part of their lives. I pray that little girl remembers what she has been taught and that she will be successful wherever she goes in her life. For I will probably never see her again.

Her Time to Shine

I know, it has been way too long since my last post. We have all thoroughly thawed from the Blizzard of '10 and the DC populations has been enjoying getting out. I almost high fived someone my run the other day because I was so happy to finally be outside again! Things are still going well here and busy as well. Although basketball season is now over, (we made it to the finals!) I now find myself sitting on the bleachers with lots of sunscreen and my bottle of water at track meets as I watch the kids run. As fun as I'm sure this sounds to you, I am so proud that I am here. One of the girls that I have been working with all year long who has struggled with self-confidence and insecurities which has led to multiple fights on the playground, made a bet with me that she would try out and make the track team. This alone was a major step for her as she does not believe she is good at anything and does not usually participate. The deal was if she made the team, I would come and watch. As you can see, here I sit in the baking sun on the bleachers watching this girl run her heart out. I stood there with the coaches as we watched her and when she took off we all said the same thing, "Wow. She can run. Did you know she was that fast?" Her coach then told me he would be putting her in other events from now on. This is her time to shine and she was radiant! And that's all my job is. I am not a miracle worker and I can't force these kids to do anything. However what i CAN do, is provide opportunities for these kids to shine and slowly uncover their strengths. Through all their challenges, they all have incredible abilities. I like the title of my newest book that I am reading and I think it sums up my job the best, Teaching Superman to Fly.

They Never Let Me Quit

"Get up, Laura! Get up!" yelled my friend, "You aren't staying on the ground. Now get up!" My body ached, my knees were bruised, and my fingers were numb from the cold. I had snow in my hair that was turning to ice. I looked back at where I had come and I wasn't even halfway down the mountain yet. My usually laid-back and easy going friend had turned drill sergent as he insisted on teaching me to snowboard. Granted, I had really wanted to snowboard and I really wasn't sure how hard it would be. It's hard. You fall a lot. You fall forward and you fall backward. Sometimes you even fall sideways and slide for awhile. Wipeout are a necessity when learning to snowboard. Had I known that, I probably would have put and extra layer of pants on to cusion my fall. Now laying on the mountain, in the midst of probably my 30th wipeout, I did not want to get up again. I was done. I kept falling and my legs were getting tired. There was no way I was going to be able to snowboard down the rest of the mountain. My very patient friend had been with me most of the day and had challenged me to try a green mountain (beginer mountain but not a bunny hill). He was an excellent snowboarder and could carve the mountain with ease. He was even doing jumps and tricks earlier. He was taking the time to teach me and his advice was overflowing. But right now he was patiently waiting for me to get up and try yet again. Somehow I managed to pull myself back up and try again. By the end of the day I had gotten better for sure. I had also fallen well over 100 times and probably need to ice every part of my body. The story doesn't end there. A couple weeks later he took me snowboarding again. More of me friends went and they all challenged me to try again, the green. I was so scared thinking of all the falling I would probably be doing. As I sat next to my "snowboarding drill sergent" he gave the coach talk and told me I would be fine, that I had it this time, that I would be so much better now. He was right. I went down that mountain with ease. I fell maybe once. Everything was right. After I was got to the bottom (in about a quarter of the time it took me last time) I ready to see his reaction as I was so proud of myself. "What did you think?" Did you see?" I asked. "Ya I saw. You looked great. So ready for the blue (intermediate)?" All my friends took me up and I did the blue as well. My friends stayed with me and pushed me when I needed to get out of my comfort zone. They keep me motivated.
The message of this post is not new to you I'm sure. However I think sometimes I forget that there are people who care more about me than I care about myself at low times. I even think of my support back at home and how much they have encouraged me on my journey. They never let me quit.

Lessons Learned from Basketball

I don't play basketball. Growing up in Indiana I know it is shocking. I tried it. It didn't work. I wasn't any good. I understood a little to get by. However, I do love coaching and with all my fears and self-consciousness at the begining that I had seemed to have disappeared. In fact, I have never imagined myself doing what I do. So because I am new at this game like most of my girls, I am learning a whole lot. Here are some things I hope will help you in life or in your next basketball game, at least.



1. Practice, practice, practice. During the first few practice, I thought I was going to loose my mind. The girls wanted nothing to do with practicing but wanted to goof off and talk about boys. So like any other natural coach, I made them run. And we ran some more. I unlocked a secret. You can't talk when you are out of breath. They started listening to the other coach and me. We ran drills over and over. They were bored and tired of it but when game time came, practice showed. From girls not being able to dribble and run at the same time and shooting 1 out of 10 shots to girls who make lay-ups everytime and charge down the court with the ball.

2. Don't cry when you loose. This lesson was learned early and I was quite unprepared for it. We lost our first games and only tied 4-4 our second game. The tears ran down red angry cheeks. I got the cold shoulder and the ride home was fairly quiet. After a talk with the coach and a good night's rest, the girls came back more eager to practice. It was as if a fire of passion had been lit inside them after loosing. For this reaction, I admire my team. I hope that a fire ignites inside me after a failure or setback.

3. Don't be overcome with anger. I quickly learned about fouling. It's not good. In one game I had never seen so many foul shots. My girls are......well let's say they are.....well a little aggressive. We haven't really had the problem of being afraid of the ball. My team has absolutely no problem holding onto the ball while they are thrown into someone or onto the ground and even still will only relinquish it when they hear the whistle.

4. If you wear glasses, don't forget them! One game, our start shooter was missing all her shots. I was baffled as to what was going on. Then all of a sudden a realized she didn't have her glasses on! She wasn't even seeing the basket! She just sent the ball up with a prayer.


5. Don't give up before the game starts. The looks on the girls faces said it all. "I'm done." The thing is, as an adult and as a coach I could see something they couldn't see past. They couldn't see pass the image of the girls. The image of the girls being from a rough area and being aggressive. As a coach, when I saw the other team play they weren't that good. I had to get the girls to trust that I could see something they couldn't. Besides, I think our girls were more aggresive.

6. Get along with others. This has been a hard one the whole season. The kids struggle with getting along. It seems like such a simple little thing we should have learned a long time ago but I see some adults struggling with this. I mean, does it really matter the #34 took #16's glitter pencil in math class today?


7. Don't blame anyone but you for your game. As a coach, I admit that after loosing I would start to make excuses. The ref made bad calls, the other team had 6th graders, or we don't have a good gym to practice. But when it comes down to it, you are the only one who can take responsibility to do better and I learned to set an example for the girls. Despite the other team, the gym, or the ref...we play are best. End of story.

9. Express your encouragement for your team. It still baffles me that the girls still haven't understood that being on the court is different than sitting on the bench. The girls would yell at the girls playing because they thought they could do better. So I put the bench girls in, and they didn't do any better. Simple things like giving a high five to their team member when they come off the court had to be taught.

10. You can't play both sides. With as little as I know about basketball, I do know that there is defense and offense and one team can't play both. However, the girls didn't seem to know which one they were on most of the time and so we ended up with one girl taking the ball down and the rest of the team "defending her" so naturally we didn't score a lot of points those first few games. It looked like half rugby and half basketball. The other team didn't even have to scrape a knee, we had 'em covered!

11. Know where you are going. As with any first time player, it's inevitable that you are going to shoot the basketball into the wrong hoop. And we had one girl do just that. The only thing that makes it better is when the other team does the same thing.

12. And finally, when in doubt, ask the boys basketball coach. I asked him a lot of questions. He sometimes was helpful and sometimes he didn't know either......we learned A LOT about our communication issues....that we have them!

Tears like Rain

I am sure many of you have already experienced this as a parent. I am not a mother yet but I am begining to become more in that mindset. I describe my personality as calm, kind, sweet, genuine, etc. I think most people would agree that I am not a mean spiritied teacher nor do I take delight in seeing my students get in trouble. However, for some reason I have sent more students home in tears than I ever thought possible. They cry because I got after them. They cry because they lied and got caught. They break down into tears a lot of the time. Sometimes I have to laugh to myself because they are so upset over something so little, in my opinion. I promise, I honestly do not have a quota of kids I want to make cry by the end of the week. However, I have perfected the "I'm disappointed in you" look and am amazed at how well it works. Of coarse I also play it on the kids who love me to death and do not want to ever disappoint me. Then there are the boys who break down into tears when I say, "You know, I think the basketball coach needs to know about this." Unfortuneately the P.E. teacher (aka the basketball coach) gets the bad cop role a lot of the time. And I almost made it this week until Friday afternoon. I teach only 5th grade math in the afternoons and today we had a test. I have the key so I graded this girl's test right away. Now all week she had been able to do all the problems and was really good in math. However on her test she had gotten every one wrong. I asked her what happened and she said she had guessed for all the answers.
"Why did you guess?" I asked.
"Well, I didn't feel like showing my work," she responded. Now, at this point I was almost home free. However I knew that a teachable moment was coming. That time when as a parent, you know you have to teach a lesson and you seeing tears is the indicator that it is getting through. I mustered up my remaining energy and firmly but calmly repeated the situation back to her. After talking about it I began to think of the consequences. I made her explain the situation to her teacher. The "disappointed" looks on both of us were starting the water works. And then her teacher brought up telling her cheerleading coach. That did it. She had been hit. She knew she had messed up. I had gotten her. But here's the important part and I see some teachers skipping over. Her teacher asked her how she felt and why. Then she proceeded to say that this was a mistake but yet could be fixed. It's important that students understand their feelings and that they can make amends. Sometimes the students need to know that the world doesn't end at one mistake. Yes, it is a mistake. Yes, it needs to be corrected. But then you move on and try again. Looking back on my elementary years, I remember being in that same situation and feeling the same way. Of course there is also tears over hurt feelings and getting injured on the playground. In those cases I abosolutely hate hearing them cry. And I try to navigate the waters carefully between being nurturing and getting them to toughen up. So let the tears come. I have three full boxes of Kleenex waiting.

Wonder

Kids sometimes do better at having wonder inside themselves than adults. I admit, it seems to me that I sometimes do not "see" the wonder in the world. However, I am reminded everyday of the spirit of wonder and awe that children seem to possess as they see the world. I heard a quote the other day that I wanted to pass on to you. It said that "one of the most important things we can pass down to our children is the capacity for wonder." I thought about this. It's sad to me to realize that I can get busy doing so many things that I miss out on the wonder and pure beauty of the world. I even forget to instill that in my students. I have caught myself dismissing their curious questions because it isn't in MY agenda. I have found myself ignoring students when they step outside of their comfort zones ever so briefly to talk about their dreams and aspirations because I'm too busy. So the other day I made myself take in the wonder God gave me. I believe that God instills in our spirit a passion for creativity and awe and a love for our Creator. I was driving to work in the early morning, just as the sun was coming up. As I was still sleepy from not going to bed the night before, and a little frustrated by the time, I was not expected what I saw. I stepped outside and before me stood the entrance to a snowy morning. It was beautiful. All the trees were laces delicately with white dust. A good 3-5 inches of snow covered every little bit of grass and sparkled in the morning rays. Everything had been transformed and made new and different. Another thing...it was silent. I could here my breaths in the vastness of the snow laiden world before me. I felt like standing there in that moment was the most intimate and private thing in the world. Like this was a secret I was led in on and know one else knew. That day at work was a good one. I was positive the entire day. It also sparked something inside me. I am now challenging myself as a teacher, to instill wonder in the students' learning. I want them to grow and continually see the wonder in this world when sometimes it looks so bleak. I have already been brainstorming and we will see what comes next.

Updates:

Tomorrow is a basketball game! The girls are steadily improving.

This week is another round of testing. We had a "pep rally" for the test tomorrow to get the students pumped up! Prayer would be appreciated.