Go All In

I remember the first time I played poker. Of course it was on the school bus on our way home. I remember the hot and sticky air of a June afternoon when school was almost out. The bus would quickly fill up with dust from the gravel roads we followed and out would come the playing cards. At 9 years old, you don't bet with much, mostly it was someone's valued possession pulled from their bookbag, a special rock, a trading card, a bracelet, anything of value. Being one of the only girls on the bus, I took my cues from the boys. They all "knew" how to play and I pretended to know as well. I didn't. In fact, my mom would have probably killed me if she had known I was playing "poker". In reality, "poker" was a slight twist on Texas hold 'em where each boy made up his own rule and everyone got their stuff back because everyone felt bad taking it. Now fast forward 15 years...
2 a.m. and I'm sitting there again, surrounded by all guys. I'm the only girl at the table and it's down to 3 people. I've beaten about 10 other guys. I'm looking at my cards and trying not to smile. "All in, " I say. They are taken back and fold. I didn't have anything but confidence, and I was ahead.
The fear associated with "going all in", a popular poker term, refers to the possibility that you might loose everything. You loose. In the movie Rounders, they talk about losing:
"And it hurts doesn't it? Your hopes dashed, your dreams down the toilet, and your fate is
sitting right beside you."
Playing poker is one thing. It's just a game. It's just money. Although life is similar? How often do we fold our cards because our fear of losing is too great? Why are we paralyzed with this fear? It keeps us from doing the very things God is calling us to do.
As I continue to teach, one thing becomes more and more apparent...I HAVE to go all in. I am committed to the kids I work with. I talk to kids at night to go over homework, we share our concerns in class, I spend hours looking over data and creating lessons to help my struggling students as well as I continue to push my challenging students. My passion is still there, however it is my commitment to these kids that keeps them moving forward. I feel that I cannot be afraid for what is to come. I am moving forward and I am bringing my students with me. Might I lose? Yes. It is possible that when it is all said and done, I may fail. However, when I look at my students' faces come to life when they get excited about something they have learned and when I see them working hard, there is no doubt in my mind that it is indeed worth every single student to go all in. There's no turning back now.
Oh, and contrary to what you may think, there's no luck at all in poker...it's pure confidence.